May 11, 2007

At long last!!

Hi all my blogging friends!

It has been a gap of a couple of months since I last blogged, partly because of my MSc dissertation but also because of sloath! So no real excuse I am afraid, but here I am, all the same.

Since I last placed a posting here, I have been to the Stitch 07 Exhibition at Olympia which I really enjoyed with San and her mum. I bought the most gorgeous book, which I will try to photograph as some of the designs are beautiful - typically English country scenes (barns, farmyard animals and birds/insects etc). I have just started doing one of the designs. I know I must finish my Seed Sampler, but somehow I cannot feel motivated to do all the back stitching in one go :0) I think I will pick it up and do half an hour here and there, and one day soon, it will be complete.

This month, for all those who know me, is going to be very sad, but I guess a bit triumphant in a way - my DH died on 31st May and I cannot believe the year has flown so quickly, but hey I have survived the dark days and although I cry for him a little each day and feel so sad that there are many things that have been happening to me that I can only tell him about in my thought and reflections, rather than have him here to experience the things with me. Life moves along gently and, to be honest, happily, because I know he would want me to be at peace with the world, which I generally am. Work has kept me busy and I spend time with family and friends when I am not studying.

Tomorrow evening, the Squash Club (where Mike was a member for many years and played regularly in the Leagues and competitions) is holding the first Annual Mike Bulbeck Squash Championship. I have been invited to give away the trophy to the winner, which I know is going to be bitter-sweet, because Mike would have been there competing - he was such a great sporting man, never worried if he "lost" but just enjoyed the challenge of the sport.

The experience of losing Mike has changed me so much over the last year - where I used to get annoyed or impatient, I cannot bring myself to, where I was miserable I am now happy and where I was ungrateful, I am now so tenacious of life because it can be taken away so easily, I am now just happy to be alive and with people who have shown me such support and feeling. My friend's little girl (who is only 5) asked me why I was crying and I explained to her that I had lost someone who I loved and that I missed him - she put out her arms and gave me a huge hug and I felt that she had taken away the pain in that moment.

Life is wonderful, sometimes painful, but always worth living .....

Thanks for coming back to my blog, even when I haven't had the strength to put hands to keyboard, it means so much and I will get back to some crafting soon - now that the summer is here, the daylight will give me more of any incentive.

With warmest wishes
Alison xxxx