May 11, 2007

At long last!!

Hi all my blogging friends!

It has been a gap of a couple of months since I last blogged, partly because of my MSc dissertation but also because of sloath! So no real excuse I am afraid, but here I am, all the same.

Since I last placed a posting here, I have been to the Stitch 07 Exhibition at Olympia which I really enjoyed with San and her mum. I bought the most gorgeous book, which I will try to photograph as some of the designs are beautiful - typically English country scenes (barns, farmyard animals and birds/insects etc). I have just started doing one of the designs. I know I must finish my Seed Sampler, but somehow I cannot feel motivated to do all the back stitching in one go :0) I think I will pick it up and do half an hour here and there, and one day soon, it will be complete.

This month, for all those who know me, is going to be very sad, but I guess a bit triumphant in a way - my DH died on 31st May and I cannot believe the year has flown so quickly, but hey I have survived the dark days and although I cry for him a little each day and feel so sad that there are many things that have been happening to me that I can only tell him about in my thought and reflections, rather than have him here to experience the things with me. Life moves along gently and, to be honest, happily, because I know he would want me to be at peace with the world, which I generally am. Work has kept me busy and I spend time with family and friends when I am not studying.

Tomorrow evening, the Squash Club (where Mike was a member for many years and played regularly in the Leagues and competitions) is holding the first Annual Mike Bulbeck Squash Championship. I have been invited to give away the trophy to the winner, which I know is going to be bitter-sweet, because Mike would have been there competing - he was such a great sporting man, never worried if he "lost" but just enjoyed the challenge of the sport.

The experience of losing Mike has changed me so much over the last year - where I used to get annoyed or impatient, I cannot bring myself to, where I was miserable I am now happy and where I was ungrateful, I am now so tenacious of life because it can be taken away so easily, I am now just happy to be alive and with people who have shown me such support and feeling. My friend's little girl (who is only 5) asked me why I was crying and I explained to her that I had lost someone who I loved and that I missed him - she put out her arms and gave me a huge hug and I felt that she had taken away the pain in that moment.

Life is wonderful, sometimes painful, but always worth living .....

Thanks for coming back to my blog, even when I haven't had the strength to put hands to keyboard, it means so much and I will get back to some crafting soon - now that the summer is here, the daylight will give me more of any incentive.

With warmest wishes
Hugs
Alison xxxx

10 comments:

Isabelle said...

((((((Ali)))))))
Sending you big hugs and continued thoughts.

Margaret said...

Wonderful to see you dear friend. As always, big hugs and much love going out to you.
Margaret

Aussie Stitcher said...

I have read your archives and hope you don't mind me posting a message. Great to see you posting again. Take care.

Joanne

June said...

lovely to see you back posting again. I remember this time last year and how sad it was for you. You have been very brave and strong and I can only admire you.

Carto said...

Hello my Lovely - good to see you back.

I can empathise totally with how you're feeling. I've not been looking forward to this month either. The 30th May is when DH announced he was moving out. Although the grief I have been experiencing is very different to your grief, it's almost the same. Like you, it has changed me as a person and my outlook on life. I love the little, simple things like smelling a flower, or hearing a Thrush sing his heart out. These mean more to me than big gestures. I'm thankful for my family, my friends and for just being alive. I have also become more patient, more forgiving and less agitated with everything than I used to. Here's you you Ali - you're an amazing, strong-willed and courageous woman. Bless your heart xxxx

Carto said...

Hello again!

I've tagged you! Visit my blog to see how to play. Hope you don't mind xxxx

Von said...

A very moving post about this year, Ali. I find that as I experience more of life - it's joys and sorrows - I have more empathy and compassion for others. Where once I simply did not understand the reasons why some people did certain things, I now do. I'm sure you will use your deepening wisdom and compassion to comfort and help those around you as it's needed. {{{Ali}}}

Lili said...

Hi Ali,
Your post is that of a wise person. I admire you for this.
I wish you the best for the future.
Hugs.
Lili

Nelapx said...

GUAOOOOOOO as vuelto... de vez en cuando paso a verte... y me digo ha de estar muy ocupada con su tesis...
Asi que ayer debio ser un dia dificil.... paciencia... Dios sana las heridas...
Que Mike lo que queria es verte feliz...
Por cierto y tu cumpleaƱos creo se aproxima o no?¿?? a ver que haras para ese dia especial... Mike no queria verte infeliz, estaras en casa?¿? a ver si te llamo... y al fin logro saludarte....
Un gran beso desde esta tierra calientita..
nela.... quien pronto se muda a Bogota

Anonymous said...

Hey Alison, Take care and enjoy life's beautiful events. Looking forward to seeing your crafts. Ann.