June 05, 2006

If Tears Could Build a Stairway

31st May 2006 marks the darkest day I will ever know, for this was the day that my beloved DH, Michael, passed away, suddenly without any warning or signs that anything was wrong. He died of a blocked artery which prevented blood getting to his heart and was killed instantly.

It is the most devastating thing I could ever imagine happening to him, me and to our families and friends. Michael was undoubtedly the most kind, gentle, loving, intelligent and fun-loving human I have ever known. I was truly honoured to have known, loved and been married to him, if only for a short while. We would have celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary on 20th June. I will live life in the eternal glow of his memory and his passing will not make me lose hope ,because he was a total inspiration in everything I do and will continue to do in my life.

I must continue for his sake as I knew he was proud of me and our relationship. I know we will see each other again.....

If tears could build a stairway
and memories were a lane
I would walk right up to heaven
to bring you home again.

No farewell words were spoken
No time to say goodbye
you were gone before I knew it
and only God knows why.

My heart still aches in sadness
and secret tears still flow
Mike, what it means to lose you
no one will ever know.

60 comments:

an_drea said...

Hi ALi B,
I usually read your blog.
I don't have words... I'm sorry about all the pain you are suffering.
It's terrile.
My heart is with you.
I send to you a warm hug and kisses.

Kim said...

I am so saddened by your loss. But I am brightened by your spirit. My warmest thoughts go with you during this difficult time. Take care of yourself! ((hugs))

Isabelle said...

Ali... This is such a terrible shock... I am so sorry. I'll be emailing you. ((((hugs))))

Lili said...

Ali! I am so so terribly sorry! You are in my thoughts and I'll try to pray for Mike and you, and your families.
This is unfair.
You have written a beautiful "in memoriam", your beloved, loving husband would have surely appreciated.
Lots of hugs, dear Ali.
Courage!
Lili

megumi said...

I am so sorry to hear of about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.

karensff said...

I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Karen
xxx

Mylene said...

Ali, i am so sorry. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hugs, Mylene

June said...

I always read your blog and feel that I have got to know you now. I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your DH. Words cannot express how you must be feeling. God be with you.

Rósa said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.

Best wishes,
Rósa

Zohrah said...

Ali, I'm truly sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers with you and your family during this difficult time.

Stitch said...

Ohhh Ali!! Words can not express my sorrow for you! I am so sorry that this happened and what's worse it was unexpected. God bless you all and hold you close to Him during this difficult time. I do have to say though, you have a wonderful attitude in remembering and cherishing the good times you had with hubby! :) I often wish more people would feel that way about death, as unfortunately it's one of the parts of life. Your hubby was indeed a lucky man to have spent such a wonderful life with a lady of your caliber! May you have continued strength to go on and remember that all of us are here for you.

*BIG HUGE HUGS*

laura said...

I usually read your blog too. It's a hard moment to you and I can't find any word for you. I'm so sorry and I'm with you in this moment.

patternnuts said...

My heart aches for you, as I know of no other way to describe...
...Hugs

DonnaSews said...

I am so sorry!! God Bless You... Wishing you my deepest sympathies.

I am here is you need to talk..

Anonymous said...

Ali, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It is so hard to lose someone you've just begun a life with. I'm sure you'll see your husband again. Lots of hugs. Glynda

Shell said...

I wanted to say how sorry I am after reading what has happened.

Joy said...

I am so sorry for your lost, my thoughts are with you. hugs,

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry Ali. Good thougths and prayers are with you. Ann.

Stitch or no stitch said...

Dear Ali,

Although we don't really know one another personally I feel I have come to know you through your site.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Michael. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Margaret

Jenna said...

Words mean very little at this point, Ali, but know that there are so many of us around the world who are sending you light and love at this difficult time. Some of life's twists and turns are sharper and steeper than others, but it only serves to make us stronger. *hug*

My Life In Stitches said...

I am so sorry to read of you loss. I wish that there was something I could do for you or something I could say that would help to ease your pain. Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Annette

Christine Doyle said...

Oh, Ali! {{{hugs!}}} I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words...

Deb L said...

I've not been reading your blog very long, but I wanted to let you know my prayers are with you.

Heather said...

Ali, I am so sorry to hear of your sudden loss.

My heart goes out to you and your family at this time and you are in my thoughts.

{{{hugs}}}

missy said...

No words can explain the sadness I feel for you!!! I'm so sorry!!! Sending you prayers, hugs, and strength!!!!

Hugs

whitecalla said...

Am saddened by your loss, Have courage
and take care. My thoughts are with you.

Juul said...

Hi Ali, I'm reading your blog from lurkdom.
I'm so sorry to read about your loss.
Sending you lots of (((hugs)))

Nela said...

Ali... desde mi corazon, solo puedo decir, te amo, y dios te ama, no lo olvides, solo el sabe por que escribe con la izquierda, con gusto si deseas hablar con alguien solo enviame tu telefono yo te llamo...
Tranquila y mucha serenida desde aqui cuentas comnigo...

Zia said...

Words cannot express what you must be going through now. Losing someone you love in such a short time and to something so sudden at a heart attack is really a terrible thing for someone to go through alone. I hope you have some support and help to get by. You'll need lots of it. I hope your pain and suffering will healed soon. Take care and remember God loves you. {{hugs}}

Chiara said...

Hi Ali, I am so sorry. I don't have words... My thoughts and prayers are with you.
kisses
Chiara

Barbara said...

There just aren't any words .... I hope you can feel the love from your friends all over the world, and that it brings some small measure of solace.

Von said...

Oh, Ali! {{{hugs}}}
What a horrible shocking thing for you and Mike's family. My heart goes out to you as words absolutely fail in times like this. I hope you can feel his love surrounding you, as well as the love and concern we bloggers all feel for you, especially now.

Mel in Dubai said...

Oh Ali, I am so very very sorry for your loss ... my thoughts are with you.

(((Hugs)))

Rowyn said...

I'm so sorry to read your very sad news. There are no words... so please know that I - like so many other bloggers - am thinking of you at this dreadful time. Sending you hugs from down under.

Stitchingnow said...

Deeply sorry for your loss. There was a good reason I'm sure and God knows your pain for he is at your side right now caring you along.

natty68 said...

Ali, I am so sorry for your loss. Words cannot express the sadness you must be feeling.

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this sad time.

*Hugs*

- Azie - said...

Ali,
Sorry to hear about your dear hubby demise. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Be strong & take care.

hugs,
Azie

Froggie said...

Ali,
I'm so sorry for your loss. ((hugs))
My prayers are with you.

namuelle said...

What a terrible test you are living ...All my thoughts are with you.
Regards

Sue said...

Ali, I'm so sorry for your loss. {{hugs}}

liz said...

Ali, I am so sorry for your loss.
No words can comfort, but love and hugs to you.

Carto said...

Ali

I can't believe it....words cannot describe how sorry I am for your terrible loss. On 30th May, my husband told me he no longer loved me anymore and I thought I was sad....but this pales into insignificance compared to your loss. God Bless you and keep you sweetheart - I will remember you and Michael in my prayers.
(((((((HUGS))))))))) xxx

~Harsha~ said...

Ali.. Ali.. Ali.. I don't know what to say. I've not been reading blogs this past week and here I am, still in shock.

I hope you'll be able to take some comfort from our love for you. *hugs*

Africa said...

I am so sorry. I don't have words... My heart is with you
hugs

Katie said...

{{hugs}} Ali, I'm so sorry for your loss. You're in our hearts and prayers

IaGal said...

I came here through Heather's blog after reading about your loss. Words can't express - just know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

I, too, came through Heather's blog. I am so very sorry to hear what you are going through. That poem really says it all. You are in my thoughts and prayers at this awfully sad time.

Big hugs, Linda

Bastet said...

I haven't been to the blogs for a bit and I'm saddened to have to come back to your blog with this news. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Big hugs.

vEr0n!c@ said...

It's been a while since I checked my bloglines and am shocked by your news. I'm so sorrie for your loss. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Mayté said...

Dear Ali, I just knew about your loss, I do not have words to tell you.. I'm so sorry...I feel your sorrow and would like to be close to you to give you my shoulder and my company is that could help you in any way.

I will keep Mike, your family an you in my daily prayers. God Bless, sweety

Anonymous said...

Ali,
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers. Please try to remember this separation is only temporary - you and your hubby will be together again in heaven. In the meantime, remember the good times and live life as he would want you to.
Hugs,
Lauren

Jenn said...

Ali, I'm sorry sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. My thoughs and prayers are with you. *HUGS*

Chris said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I feel so sad that you must deal with the shock of it happening without warning. Take care and {{{hugs}}}.

lyssophietje said...

I never posted before but have read you're blog for a while.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.

(((hug)))

Mirjam

Juanita - aka flosslady said...

Oh Ali, I am so very sorry to hear this sad news. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.

Lili said...

Ali! Just a small message to say that you are in my thoughts everyday. Sending you lots of hugs, sweetie. Hold on.
Lili

Zohrah said...

Always in though Ali. Hugs.

Christine said...

Hi Ali B,
I don't know you but i would like to share a bit of your pain to make it less heavy.
(( Hugs ))

BlissxStitches said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Ali.

Anonymous said...

Dear Ali, I was just reading your blog. My heart goes out to you and you are in my prayers. If tears could build a stairway to heaven is on my mother's headstone and this brought back alot of memories. I will think f you whever I hear one of my favourite songs called Honey which always moves me to tears. I cannot conceive how you feel, only that you are devastated. Look after yourself. Annie